If you thought the Val Venis promos got repetative, well, at least there was something there. Sure, it was just a dick joke like, ten times, but that communicated something (which was this: Val Venis has a large cock). These Edge promos … can anyone convince me that they say anything besides nothing?
I almost think it’s a commercial for a fragrance.
Written by the fragrant David (Wm.) Murray
Every time McMahon attempts to kick someone, it is the most pathetic and beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I don’t know why Dan Severn relies on the arm bar as his finishing maneuver when he’s got something so much more devastating up his sleeve.
These can’t possibly be words.
Pretty horrible day for McMahon all around.
Take note, professional actors!
Austin just told McMahon his dad didn’t love him.
BONUS: Here, in all its glory, is the full clip of Vince McMahon getting arrested on the order of Stone Cold Steve Austin, along with his cronies, Gerald Brisco and Hall of Famer Pat Patterson.
I can’t tell if my favorite part is that Stone Cold Steve Austin had to remind police officers that assault is a crime (by the way, that was battery, not assault, just FYI), that he assaulted all three perps right in front of the cops, or that the cops actually behaved as if they were Austin’s servants.
Regardless, Vince McMahon is the greatest physical actor of all time.
Professor Gif, out.
Hey, ya’ll, we’ve got a treat for you today. Longtime readers of the blog might remember last year when we published a commercial for the Wrestle Vessel II, a cruise ship with wrestlers.
Well, in the comments of that video, someone mentioned that he was actually on the cruise back in 1997! We reached out to him and asked if he’d be willing to answer a few questions about the trip, and very graciously, he was happy to do it. So a big thanks to Todd-THWrangler. He also submitted some photos and the itinerary, which will be included in the post as well. Enjoy!
Rawview: So how did you end up on the Wrestle Vessel II?
Todd-THWrangler: I went on the first cruise with my brother.
Rawview: What was it about the first one that made you want to go on the second?
Todd-THWrangler: I would say there was about 200 people that were part of the wrestling group and I became good friends with a few of them and then we decided to go on the 2nd one together. (2nd cruise without my brother and I would say there were about 300 people that was part of the group)
Rawview: Were there any big differences between the two? Who was on each?
Todd-THWrangler: The first cruise ( Norwegian Cruise Ship Leeward) had: Duke “the Dumpster” Droese. The Bushwackers, Mr. Perfect Curt Henning, and Brett “Hitman” Hart.
It was from Friday, July 12, 1996 to Monday, July 15, 1996. We left from Miami, FL and went to Nassau, Bahamas and The Great Stirrup Cay.
The second cruise (Carnival Cruise Ship Ecstasy) had: Triple H, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Owen Hart, Brett Hart, GoldDust, Mark Mero, Sable, Shawn Micheals, Chyna, Terri Runnels, Sunny, and Jim Ross…..and Chris Candido (but they never mentioned him)
It was Monday, July 14, 1997 to Friday, July 18, 1997. We left from Miami, FL to Key West & Cozumel Mexico.
Rawview: Was there wrestling on the ship? Did the wrestlers stay in character while the cruise was going on?
Todd-THWrangler: There was no wrestling on either cruise but we did have a meet and greet with question sessions…..photograph sessions and farewell cocktail parties with the superstars. None of them really stayed in character….We hardly saw Chyna, she was always in her room (she was dating Triple H at the time).
Rawview: What kinds of activities were there on the ship?
Todd-THWrangler: On the first cruise we had a Horseshoe tournament …..There were 2 groups and in one group it came down to me against Mr Perfect and he actually only beat me by one point….He commented on how good I was and how surprised he was that I almost beat him.
Second cruise we had a Volleyball tournament on the ship…it was the fans against each other then the winners played against the wrestlers….my group came in second…so I didn’t get to play against them.
RawvIew: What was it like to be around so many wrestlers?
Todd-THWrangler: On the 2nd cruise I remember Owen Hart being very funny and always ribbing on the rest of the guys„„,Stone Cold was drunk most of the time, but he was very friendly and talked to everyone!
On the 2nd cruise we actually got to watch Monday Night Raw with everyone that was part of the group…we watched it on Thursday and the wrestlers talked about each segment during commercials.
Rawview: Did you see wrestlers all over the shit just hanging out?
Todd-THWrangler: I remember the first cruise it was like 2 days after a Hurricane and the first night during dinner most of the dinning room was empty(because of very strong waves and rocking of the ship) and most of the wrestlers were sea sick and had dinner delivered to their rooms!!….then most of the time the guys were wearing the wrist bands to help against sea sickness!!!
Rawview: Did anyone smash someone else through an ice sculpture? What kinds of things did they eat?
Todd-THWrangler: No ice sculptures that were broken…lol
I would say most of the wrestlers had the food on the menu and didn’t actually eat healthy for the trip.
Rawview: Anything else worth mentioning?
Todd-THWrangler: I actually got to workout with Shawn Michaels on the 2nd cruise in the fitness center….we talked about wrestling and our personal lives.
Itinerary:
Once again, a huge thanks for Todd for reaching out and agreeing to send some stuff over. If anyone else has some first hand experience with the WWF in 1997 or 1998, we’d love to hear from you at TheYearInRawview@gmail.com.
Is D-Generation X actually feuding with anyone at this point? I guess The Nation of Domination, right? I don’t know. D-X seems preoccupied with these missions where they try to destroy WCW, which is fine, I guess.
If there’s one thing they’re good for, it’s horrific graphics where it’s supposed to look like D-X tagged the WCW offices or wrote a message in the sky above the WCW arena. If there’s two things these promos are good for, they are horrific graphics and making it look like D-X literally blew up a WCW building and murdered people. If there are three things these promos are good for, they are horrific graphics, supposed murder and dick jokes.
Check it out!
Written by General Patton
One of the first things the announcers mentioned on this week’s Raw was that Jackyl would be showing up with a pair of “freaks” from Howard Stern’s radio show. It makes no sense, but it kind of makes more sense than any other celebrity appearance that’s happened since we’ve started this blog, right?
Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf and Crackhead Bob are about as compelling as one would expect, and the Jackyl is only slightly less annoying than he usually is, but I have to say I’m pretty excited about this. Being a freakshow promoter is pretty much the only thing that I think Jackyl could do sort of well. I’m not super excited to have Bob and Hank here, but if it was necessary to get the rest of this Parade of Human Oddities, then I’m behind it one hundred percent.
My only complaint about this, really, is that Luna hasn’t grown out her beard. And Jackyl doesn’t know how to hammer a nail up his nose. Yet.
Oh, and how awesome is it that Jackyl forgot to come up with a name for the huge guy in the red shirt?
Written by “The One Man Parade of Human Oddities” David Murray
P.S. Crackhead Bob’s name is Bob Roberts? Robert Roberts? No wonder he was driven to crack.
The show opens with some explosions and some boos as Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco make their way to the ring accompanied by three police officers.
McMahon: “What a glorious night last Monday night was. Last Monday night on Raw, not only did Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson come out of retirement for one more action-packed match, but indeed, they gave Stone Cold Steve Austin all he could handle. [McMahon congratulates Patterson and Brisco and shakes their hands]. And it’s fair to say Patterson, Brisco and in honorable mention Commissioner Slaughter, indeed chained the rattlesnake last week. However, it was one individual, and only one individual, me, that person drained the venom from the rattlesnake’s poisonous head. What’d you think was going on, Austin, when the fan jumped over the rail with the Austin t-shirt, the Austin hat, the Austin mask, what’d you think, somebody was gonna help you, Austin? I helped you alright. It felt so good when I had that steel chair in my hands and it struck Austin squarely in the back. I assaulted Stone Cold Steve Austin and got away with it. It was indeed a very special night for me and my associates. However, it will pale in comparison to the glory and the honor that will be ours this Sunday on Pay-Per-View when the WWF goes over the edge.”
McMahon reminds everyone that Brisco is the timekeeper, Patterson is the ring announcer and McMahon himself is the guest ref for Austin’s title match.
McMahon: “It will be the dawning of a new era in the World Wrestling Federation, but more importantly, the demise of Stone Cold Steve Austin. I thank you very much.”
Glass shatters and Austin walks out to the ring.
Austin: “I hope your proud of yourself, because what you’ve done is prove without a shadow of a doubt, you are the world’s dumbest son of a bitch! Officers, he just told the world that he assaulted Stone Cold Steve Austin, that’s exactly what you said. So, since I was assaulted, I want you to do your job and arrest that piece of trash right now.”
McMahon: “It’s a figure of speech.”
The police officers realize Austin’s got a solid case and start putting the cuffs on McMahon! He tries to fight them off, but they just overpower him. He makes a lot of great faces as well. Here:
Brisco and Patterson just to push the cops away and free McMahon but don’t. Austin tells the cops that seems like obstruction of justice and the cops lock up them as well!
Austin is having a blast. He takes a can of beer out of his pocket, kicks McMahon in stomach and pours the beer on McMahon’s head!
Jim Ross: Stone Cold is doing what the federal government could not do: sending Vince McMahon to jail!
McMahon is furious as the cop walks him up the ramp. Nevermind. Once McMahon reaches the ramp, he makes perhaps the saddest face ever. It’s amazing.
After a break, the announcers for tonight, Jim Ross and Michael Cole, tell us the whole world wants to know who LoD will get as their partner for the upcoming six-man tag match.
Disciples of Apocalypse (Chainz, Skull, & 8-Ball) vs. LoD 2000 (Hawk, Animal) & Puke
Hawk says Puke is from the South Side of Chicago and JR lets us know his full name is Darren Drozdov, but his nickname is Puke. He walks out and over to one of the motorcycles owned by some DoA guy, and bends over like he’s going to vomit on it. So, good to know he doesn’t have some stupid gimmick.
Chainz jumps out of the ring and attacks Puke before he can land his signature move. All six men fight in the ring for a bit. Animal and 8-Ball, according to Cole, start things off in the ring. DoA and LoD will fight at Over The Edge. Puke and Chainz tag in with Puke making an impressive debut by taking down Chainz a few times and locking him in an arm hold. Puke tags in Hawk, who keeps the hold going. A bald guy tags in and we’re lost.
DoA keeps Hawk in the ring and takes turns beating on him. After a while, he tags in Puke and all six men fight in the ring. It clears out, leaving Puke and Chainz. Puke hits a flying reverse elbow to Chainz’s heart. The rookie hits a flying clothesline on Chainz.
Puke hits a sitdown powerbomb and covers Chainz for the win.
Backstage, this!
Owen Hart vs. Dan Severn
Like nine seconds into this one, Severn locks Hart in a submission hold, trying to hyperextend Hart’s elbow, according to Cole.
Severn is dominating this one early, landing a cradle cover on Hart, who breaks out of it by punching Severn in the head a few times. The two roll out of the ring with Hart continuing to punch Severn in the head on the mat outside the ring. They return to the ring and quickly Severn turns things around by beating on Hart in the corner. The ref breaks it up, forcing Severn to back out of the corner and Severn doesn’t like that. He argues with the ref, giving Owen time and a set of diverted ref eyes, so he kicks Severn in the balls. Owen’s strategy seems to be punching Severn in the head a lot.
Severn rolls over and slaps Owen in the head a few times. He locks Owen in that arm submission hold again, and just as it looks like Owen is going to tap, the Nation of Domination runs out and attacks, disqualifying Owen. Severn fights back, dropping D’Lo Brown and Kama Mustafa, but the numbers win out soon enough.
The Nation puts Severn’s ankle in a chair and Owen climbs to the top ropes, determined to break Severn’s ankle and sideline him like the Nation did to Ken Shamrock. Four referees run out and stop Owen from jumping by forcing him off the ropes. One ref removes the chair and throws it out of the ring. The refs settle things down. Backstage, this!
And this!
The Jackyl makes his return to Raw this week with some buddies from the Howard Stern Show, Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf and Crackhead Bob.
JR says he’s only familiar with them from hearing them on the Stern show occasionally, but he’s not sure why they’re here and with the Jackyl. Jackyl says they’ve put up with enough.
Jacky: “These two human oddities I have rented from the Howard Stern radio show.”
Nice to see the Jackyl is treating them with respect. At one point, the camera cuts to the crowd and here’s a guy whose face pretty much sums up how this segment is going so far.
Jackyl says that Hank was recently mockingly voted most beautiful person in the world in an online poll from People Magazine. He asks Hank how the vote made him feel.
Hank: “Well, it [bleep]ing made me feel great, but [bleep] People are using my name on the online now and it screwed up two of my [bleep]ing best friends’ lives.”
Jackyl cuts him off. Also, all those bleeps are the word fuck, just in case you were wondering. Jackyl says he doesn’t want to ignore his friend Bob, who people have called Crackhead Bob because his life is ruined because of his addiction to crack. Jackyl is here to make sure Crackhead Bob knows these people are just fueling his addiction. Bob’s also wearing this shirt.
Jackyl asks Bob to say he’s mad as hell and he’s not going to take it anymore.
Bob: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!”
Jackyl says he’s going to bring out a “parade of human oddities” right now. The first up is “the prom queen of the WWF,” Princess Luna!
Next up is a man whose “physical deformity has made him a societal outcast,” Golga. Tonight, Jackyl says, Golga is going to speak to the crowd in the only language they understand, violence.
The last member of the parade is the largest man walking the planet, according to Jackyl. We don’t get this guy’s name.
The Headbangers come to the ring, as Thrasher is set for singles action against someone. But who in this, the weirdest, most loving family in professional wrestling?
First, however, Mosh wants to taunt Hank.
Thrasher (with Mosh) vs. Golga (with Jackyl, Luna, The Largest Man In The World, Crackhead Bob & Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf)
Thrasher drops to his knees to taunt Hank and Golga runs up and hits him with a right knee to start this match. Jackyl walks over to the announcers’ table and says Bob is going to join the broadcast team. Jackyl says Golga has a “cranial facial disorder,” which is why he has a brown mask over his head. Meanwhile, in the ring Golga lands a huge powerslam on Thrasher, covers and earns the victory.
Mosh runs in the ring to help his buddy, but so does the giant guy, who headbutts Mosh and the ref. Cole calls him The Largest Man In The World, so I guess we’ll go with that as a nickname for now. Jackyl says he warned the WWF that something horrible was coming, and this is it. Jackyl gives Hank the headset and he says the match was pretty cool.
Backstage, this!
After a commercial break, Tennessee Lee intros Jeff Jarrett. He’s out to fight Vader, and as soon as Vader gets in the ring, JR starts yelling that something is going on in the locker room! The show goes to a commercial.
Jeff Jarrett (with Tennessee Lee) vs. Vader
Jeff Jarrett
After the break, JR says there was some sort of interaction going on between Stone Cold and McMahon. JR says the rumor is McMahon and his buddies will be released if they agree to some rules set by Stone Cold. We’ll find out what’s going on after this match, JR says. Meanwhile, Vader is dominating this one. Two times Vader has covered Jarrett for what would’ve been three counts, but both times Lee distracted the ref. Vader also hit a big powerbomb.
After another Tennessee Lee distraction, Vader stares him down, turning his back on Jarrett. Jarrett chop blocks Vader from behind and goes to work on Vader’s right leg. Vader turns things around and splashes Jarrett from the second rope.
Instead of covering, Vader taunts a bit. Kane runs down the ramp and attacks Vader in the ring, disqualifying Jarrett. Paul Bearer waddles after his son.
Kane is really taking it to Vader, landing some huge clotheslines on the mastadon. Kane scoop slams Vader and clotheslines him over the top rope. Outside of the ring, Kane throws Vader into the steels steps. A bunch of refs run out, but it’s Bearer who calms Kane down and walks him up the ramp. As they pass the camera, Bearer turns to the camera and says, “That’s all we need.”
Backstage, the cops are helping McMahon out of the cop car. Brisco and Patterson are already out of it.
Austin is there and asks McMahon if he’s going to do it. McMahon says he is, and says, “I apologize to the former WWF champion.” Austin says that’s not good enough, and tells the cops to take McMahon to jail. McMahon does this.
He back peddles and says let me try again. This time he says he apologizes and Stone Cold tells the cops to let him go. Austin also pats McMahon’s hair and says he’s a good kid. Once out of cuffs, McMahon, well McMahon turns into pure evil, apparently.
As the show resets, Jerry “The King” Lawler replaces Cole on the broadcast team.
McMahon, Patterson, and Brisco walk out to an overwhelming sea of boos. McMahon is completely disheveled and looks like he has no will to live anymore.
McMahon: “Well, I hope you’ve had some fun here tonight, Austin. I hope you’re real proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished. How dare you have me arrested in public like a common criminal. And pour beer down the back on my neck! And then place conditions on my release! A condition of apology, which I did not mean! And yet, another condition, that should someone volunteer to stand guard while I officiate the match at the Pay-Per-View this Sunday to ensure that I call the match fair and square, I accept that condition too. And I’ll tell ya why, because other than Godzilla recently being released, there isn’t one WWF superstar on the roster that can intimidate me. Not one. There isn’t one WWF superstar that will stop me from what I am going to do this Sunday. Not one. So, Austin, I hope you’ve had your fun because your fun is going to come to an end. Not just this Sunday, but right here tonight… because, Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am ordering you to compete one-on-one here tonight, in this very ring, with the Undertaker!”
After a break, it’s time for scenes from another D-Generation X secret mission. This one is from a “clandestine airport somewhere in North America,” according to a graphic put on the screen. Hunter Hearst Helmsley tells the rest of D-X that this mission is their most dangerous yet and only person can do it. Apparently is involved flying a plane and Road Dogg thinks he’s going to get to do the mission because he’s a veteran and he’s wearing goggles. Triple H says he is doing the mission, he doesn’t know if he’ll make it and get to see the rest of the D-X again, and they all hug. The show cuts back to the arena and JR says Helmsley is scheduled to take on the Rock later tonight, so presumably he doesn’t die. Spoiler alert.
A man in a cowboy hat with a bandana tied over his face jumps the railing, grabs King, and demands to know where “he” is. The man turns out to be Al Snow and the “he” is Vince McMahon, who Al is trying to get a meeting with to earn a spot in the WWF or something. Anyway, it looks like Al, or more correctly Al’s mannequin head Head, has a fan already.
Some security guards pull Snow away from King, but more importantly, does that fan’s sign read “Download This Baby” and if so, what does that mean? 1998!
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku vs. Togo (with Yamaguchi San) (not for title)
Togo is a member of Kai En Tai, the group that recently arrived in the WWF and immediately started attacking Taka. It figures Taka would be looking forward to getting in the ring with just one member of Kai En Tai, and he jumps out to an early advantage on Togo. Taka climbs to the top rope and goes for a high-flying move, but Togo jumps and hits him with a dropkick before Taka can land.
Taka rolls out of the ring, climbs on the the ring apron, and Togo rams in Taka, sending the champ off the apron and onto the crowd barrier. Togo climbs on the ring apron and flips off onto Taka.
Yamaguchi San distracts the ref, Togo low blows Taka, and follows that up with a martial arts kick to the head. Togo covers, but Taka kicks out. Togo is in complete control, landing a moonsault off the middle rope. Again he covers, and again Taka kicks out. Togo whips Taka against the ropes, tosses him up in the air, and Taka counters with a hurricanrana into a cover to steal the victory.
Yamaguchi San gets in the ring behind Taka, but he turns around and grabs Yamaguchi San by the necktie and gives him a look that says whatever the Japanese equivalent is for “Why I oughta cream you!”
Before he can, the rest of Kai En Tai run out and attack Taka. JR says Bradshaw, who has teamed up with Taka in recent weeks to take on Kai En Tai, is not in the arena tonight. Kai En Tai beat on Taka for a bit and leave through the crowd.
Back at that airport, D-X is starting to get nervous that Helmsley hasn’t returned from his mission. Bad Ass Billy Gunn says something and X-Pac calls him Rockabilly, and then everyone laughs. Ah, remember how awful of a character Rockabilly was? Remember how fans were subjected to that bullshit for months? Hahaha, what idiots we are!
Marc Mero and Sable make their way to the ring, and Mero is holding a piece of paper.
Ah, yes, their “contract” which says Sable is Mero’s piece of property, or whatever their agreement is. They wouldn’t still be together if Mero didn’t legally own her. Last week, Sable ended up costing Mero the match, and Sable didn’t seem to care all too much about it. Sable very roughly rips off Mero’s jacket.
Marc Mero (with Sable) vs. Faarooq
Mero hides behind Sable and Faarooq turns around because he can’t hit Sable. Mero tosses Sable aside and attacks Faarooq to start this one up. His advantage doesn’t last long, as Faarooq powerslams Mero and tosses him out of the ring. Mero hides behind Sable again, this time out of the ring, and reaches around her to punch Faarooq. They get back in the ring, and Mero keeps it going with a knee to Faarooq’s face and a DDT. Sable gets on the apron to yell something at Mero, so he turns to yell at her.
Mero turns around and walks into a vicious clothesline.
Faarooq covers for the win and leaves the ring immediately. Sable points at Faarooq, shrugs, and mouths, “He’s good” to Mero. Mero gets on the mic and says since Sable likes to play games, he’ll give her one. She has to find a superstar in the WWF who can beat Mero without her help, and if that superstar wins cleanly, he’ll rip up that contract. If Mero wins, however, Sable must leave the WWF. Sable agrees to the match and says she’ll see Mero on Sunday.
It’s time for another D-X update, and this time it’s clips of a plane flying cut with clips of a guy in a helmet flying inside the plane with Triple H’s voiceover saying he’s in the cockpit with his hand on his joystick. He’s flying over WCW to leave this message.
And this message.
And another.
And then Helmsley drops a bomb on WCW! He’s killed everyone!
The Rock comes to the ring, grabs a mic, and says the whole world wants to know his thoughts on Viagra. Since the Rock has no need for it, he can’t comment on it. Nicely done. Rock then taunts Faarooq, who he will face Sunday at Over The Edge. Rock also taunts Helmsley a bit, saying he thinks D-X has a weird obsession with their penises.
Intercontinental Champion The Rock (with Mark Henry) vs. Triple H (with Chyna) (not for the title)
The two lock up and appear to be evenly matched through this one’s first few minutes. They trade punches for a bit and both drop each other a few times. Helmsley throws Rock out of the ring and distracts the ref, allowing Chyna to deliver a forearm smash. Mark Henry walks over, gets in Chyna’s face, and I just want them to have a baby. This is love at first sight, people.
Rock and Helmsley get back in the ring, and Rock rams Helmsley head into one of the corners. Rock kicks Helmsley to the mat and delivers a few punches to a downed Helmsley still in the corner. Rock distracts the ref so Henry can choke Helmsley from outside the ring. Chyna jumps on the ring apron, further distracting the ref. Henry tosses Rock his title belt and Rock clocks Helmsley in the skull with it.
Rock covers while Chyna continues to distract the ref, who finally turns it on and starts to count. Right before he counts to three, Chyna pulls Rock off Helmsley to keep this one going. After a commercial break, Rock delivers a People’s Elbow to Helmsley and covers, but Helmsley kicks out.
Helmsley drops Rock and gives Henry the “suck it” motion. Henry gets on the ring apron, distracting the ref, and Chyna hits Rock with a title belt.
Helmsley covers, but Rock kicks out. Helmsley continues the beating for a bit, whips Rock into the corner, Rock bounces off, and counters with a swinging neckbreaker. The two trade punches for a bit and Helmsley goes for a Pedigree, but Rock counters by flipping Helmsley over the ropes and outside the ring.
Henry beats on Helmsley outside of the ring while Rock distracts the ref. Chyna hits Henry in the back with a chair, but doesn’t knock him down. Henry walks toward her, and Helmsley runs up from behind and pushes Henry into the steel steps. Rock gets out of the ring and fights Helmsley for a bit, and the ref counts out both men. Helmsley sits in a chair in the middle of the ring and motions for Rock to get back in there with him. Rock doesn’t and walks up the ramp backwards. Faarooq runs out, punches Rock a few times and piledrives Rock at the top of the ramp.
The ring announcer says that for the next match, Vince McMahon will be the special guest referee.
WWF Heavyweight Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Undertaker (not for the title) with special guest referee Vince McMahon
Undertaker comes out first and Vince is all smiles. Undertaker gets in McMahon’s face, and McMahon looks a little nervous, a little confused, and a lot scared. Undertaker grabs McMahon by the neck and gives him a massive chokeslam. So… this match is a draw?
Undertaker lifts McMahon up for a chokeslam, but Kane runs out so Undertaker tosses McMahon off to the side. Kane gets in the ring and the two brothers (half-brothers?) duke it out. Undertaker knocks Kane out of the ring and follows him out there. They continue to beat the shit out of each other through the crowd!
Patterson and Brisco get in the ring to help McMahon up and Austin’s theme starts up. He power walks into the ring and stuns Brisco…
and Patterson…
and ties up McMahon in the ropes.
Austin grabs a chair and tosses it into the ring. McMahon shits himself.
Austin sizes up the shot…
and Dude Love runs into the ring with a chair for the rescue! Until Austin hits Dude Love’s chair with his own chair, knocking two chairs into Dude’s head.
Patterson and Brisco untie McMahon and attend to him in the ring while Austin grabs his belt and walks up the ramp. At the top of the ramp, he turns, and points at everyone.
Written by Adam Littman with help from David (Wm.) Murray
Jim Ross: Stone Cold is doing what the federal government could not do: sending Vince McMahon to jail!
I have to say, this might be my favorite quote in the roughly 17 months we’ve been doing this. We all know Jim Ross is amazing. But this quote, just beautiful. Of course, McMahon is pissed about getting arrested. Or hut. Or anything, really. It’s hard to tell what emotion he’s going/suffering through right here.
Why is McMahon being arrested? Check out tomorrow’s Raw recap to find out. Plus, like seven other pictures of McMahon being arrested. Other stuff happens too, but really, McMahon gets arrested!
I feel like this hasn’t been happening as much as it should be. It should be like, twice a week, right?
This should also be an every week thing from now on.
Professor Gif, out.
Here’s a sneak peak at thew new MTV show “Celebrity Death Match,” which we hinted at last week. As you can see animated Stone Cold Steve Austin is taking his brand of ass-whoopings to the cartoon. So far, we know Oprah is fighting Rosie O’Donnell and the Gallagher brothers from Oasis are fighting. Personally, I’d prefer if the Gallaghers of Oasis were fighting the Gallaghers of watermelon-crushing. Anyway, we might have more on the show in the future. We also might not. Who knows?!
Well, I mean, they’re still showing these Edge promos, so we’ll keep showing them to you, but this one might make the least amount of sense of anything ever. Seriously. At this point I think they’re just cutting up pages of the dictionary, tossing them into the air, and then picking them up at random to write the script for these videos. That, and just inserting the word “edge” into every other sentence.
Written by David “Dictionary” Murray
The Year in Rawview: 1997 is an unofficial epic history of WWF Raw from the year 1997 put together by two nerds, Adam Littman and David (Wm.) Murray.
They can be reached at theyearinrawview@gmail.com.
Follow The Year in Rawview on Twitter: @Rawview.
